Keep, Keep
4/12/2020–Be wise in sharing “how you feel”: in fear others may be swift to (mis)diagnose you. Author your outpour privately; be restored in stillness and receive the revelation of the source of your pain, ponderings, feelings, and plant or uproot as necessary.
Something will tell you to rush and get a second opinion; ignore it and be still. You’ll even get flashes of panic-induced alternate realities. Resist them and be still. When you pursue peace and stop running from yourself, you see that the reverberations of pangs from life’s experiences don’t immediately need “a second opinion”. They just demand that you grow up in your faith and allow healing to happen the non-GMO way: no steroids of busywork or morphine of entertaining/fantasy-inducing distractions. Just a tincture of spiritual growth, whose recipe is penned by your hand. Let yourself learn how strong you are by healing the long way: the way that makes you wait for an answer and make a calculated decision. This is the stuff of matriarchy: getting wisdom for yourself; battling in spiritual warfare and winning. Eventually you’ll find out that healing without a doctor is the testimony; resetting your own bone is the lesson. Your legacy is too great to be consistent ascent and success. Your award is the reward of a greater test to prove yourself worthy.
We will be unfit creatures handicapped by splints and shunts of solutions we didn’t work for; stunted by a lifecycle of leeching off of prudence another worked to earn; enslaved to waiting for sustenance to drop from another’s table before you can feed those at ours. Your muscles are atrophying because you refuse to fight for yourself. You want someone else to fight for you, to read the book you haven’t written, to tell you a gospel you must die and resurrect for. You want “a word” to know what to do next from one who climbed the mountain you refused. Your circumstance is the textile for you to sew your colorful coat of matriarchy—not to cut up and make surgical masks to guard from the incense of glory that costs your convenience.
