Thinking Teastained Woman: Beyond the Journal— Your Thoughts. Your Life.

Original publish date: January 26, 2018


As women of color something of which we should always be cognizant are the battles daily waging against our minds.  Everything that has to do with our predestined identity comes through our head at some point; what we allow to coexist with these possibilities in the form of "thought" impacts how (or if) that identity manifests. The wrong thoughts can be the difference between being a songwriter that can impact the world and just writing lyrics to easily-forgotten tunes--the difference between occurrence and resonance.

As beings of purpose on the soulful journey our thought lives are the rudders that set us on trajectories.  On another level, as journey archivists, our memories play an invaluable role into our scratching our thoughts onto the page, as is our ability to process life events; to harvest meaning from the seemingly mundane through journaling.  If our thought patterns are skewed and our minds contaminated, muddled, tainted, etc. we are compromising not only our life notes but the quality of insights that make it into our journals.  Furthermore, we are also compromising our ability to see the vision for our lives, hear revelation,  pick up the choreography to our destinies, or hear the poetry that narrates through our bodies as we go forward.

“the work we have to do as predestined, soulful, teastained women is meant to free those whose bondage is a paycheck for powers whose very work is oriented around keeping sojourners in a fearful stupor. ”

Something like wombs of our worlds, our minds are the space where the fruits of our lives are formed.  They function as  the space where much can happen before our bodies enact the possibility in time. The territory for the voice of the Divine, the ideas we have, and the words we have to believe and say so that our soulful journeys--whatever gestates in our minds develops into something that moves and speaks and eventually becomes part of us.  A negative thought against another, narcissism, stress, or a few verses of a sleazy song take up residency with our future tense, with our vision, revelation, and possibility.

If we don't guard them, our thoughts--the voices and images occupying the mind--will take on a tone and a set of memories that direct us down every other way except that of purpose.  Thoughts that aren't in tandem with your glorious contents are violent occupants in your headspace.

As an artist, diarist and woman of faith I am in constant, staggering awareness of how my thoughts are under some kind of attack on a daily basis, from media's inappropriate or violent imagery (that spectrum is SUCH a setup) to the haunting, harrowing mental demands of being a business owner on social media...  And it's never going to go away. The only option I have is to learn how to guard my mind and to constantly vet what occupies it. If my thoughts are tainted so is my life--period.

The evil behind various media, in various atmospheres and encounters, in life events, and even in music lyrics (don't act brand new here, stay with me) are little big things that, forming memories and ideologies and beliefs, war against thoughts oriented around a convicting dialogue with humanity.  Because of this I have to constantly filter what's coming into my brain. Because of this I have to vigilantly examine the contents of what's gaining access to my memory, marrow.  Because of this I have to do random inspections of the contents of my head, asking: What's on my mind and does it belong there?  How much does it weigh? What's it sitting on? 

“the only option i have is to learn how to guard my mind and to constantly vet what occupies it.”

The work we have to do as predestined, soulful, teastained women is meant to free those whose bondage is a paycheck for powers whose very work is oriented around keeping sojourners in a fearful stupor. Our work will affront the notion that stress, anxiety, fear, overwhelm, disorientation and "entertainment" are the norm for our minds.  Our destiny work undoes nefarious work in society whose objective is to make it so that people can never fully complete the task of their existence, never come into alignment with their season and be impactful.  

The thoughts we are required to think/need to be available to think in order to be dynamic and powerful in this work are those of curated focus, stillness, and highly guarded regard for our spirit, soul, mind, and future.  We can't expose ourselves to everything, everyone. We can't do everything--with everyone.  We can't be around everyone, everywhere.  Everything can't live in our minds. Everyone can't have access to what we contain.

I don't know about you but I am not about to lose my purpose because of a mind that's unfocused and noisy with the sounds of violent ideas, clamourous lyrics, and thoughts about everyone else's life except my own. A moment of feeling good with fantastical daydreams is not worth losing my memory for what's ahead.  It's NOT WORTH IT.  

I will not lose my ability to create the future because I sell the pith of the present to social media and Netflix; anger or rage; I will not lose my ability to make noise because I am addicted to always having it around, vibrating through my body instead of the songs I'm meant to sing or the electricity I'm meant to carry.  I am determined to overcome in my thought life, clearing out everything that doesn't belong in my head, every humming thing that has no business there; and every thought that does not belong to me.

Before we write, we think. Words come from our mind; ideas form from thought patterns; declarations form because your thoughts incubated the beliefs. 

What's on your mind and what's it touching?   Think about this.