2016— Notes on Fear

Feb 1, 2016–Many entertain fear, believing it wants to share their mind like a neighbor. No: fear wants to take over. It wants everything you do to be in its honour. Your decisions and your genes are its trophies. In a single circumstance all fear needs is permission to "help" you react or do or not do. There's no "almost" with it. Anything done in fear doesn't benefit your identity. Anything not done because of fear has stopped "you" from happening. Years of being fearful will leave you asking who you are.

We cannot journey soulfully if we are afraid.

Feb. 7, 2016–It does not matter how useful it feels in the moment. Fear takes the pen from your hand and begins to write in a different handwriting.

It writes you out of the picture and writes events with a backwards perspective: you're the oppressed, you cannot overcome, this and that person are against you, these hindrances have more relevance than your promise, the idea of failure is enough to halt your dreams, and no use imagining greater. With fear in the picture seasons of aloneness are seen as seasons of isolation and desperation instead of incubation before release. Suddenly you become blind to the moment you decided to begin, and you romanticize the past that once enslaved you.

Worse: Fear creates amnesia. And we cannot afford to come this far and forget who we are and who we will be.