do not be a woman of lost chapters

9/23/13– I haven't written in [dare I share this??] 4 days. FOUR DAYS. Naturally, my soul has been gently scolding me with gentle but strong words to return to my self-bookkeeping. Sounds something like: "Do not be a woman of lost chapters. Keep your words. You say everything matters? THAT thought mattered. How will you retain what you will not acknowledge? How will you acknowledge what you cannot remember? Do you respect your memory enough to give it eye contact?" Needless to say, I just pulled out my journal.

Having returned to the city I have given myself some time to settle but that's still no excuse to not check in with my pen and page. Sometimes when life is crazy you can catch the most nutrients, like shaking a kombucha before you drink it: you want to unsettle everything so it gets in. In the end, you have a library of handwritten, eyewitness accounts of what has happened to all the women you've been. You don't want to miss these formative moments that do not introduce themselves as remarkable until they've passed. The present is a gift. Writing is a way of opening it.

I am speaking to myself.

(Image: Leslie’s stack of a few of her finished VGB journals)